Kingfisher Airlines employees want to be auctioned at IPL7

In a rather surprising turn of events at IPL7 auction venue, it was reported that hundreds of striking Kingfisher Airlines’ employees have submitted applications to IPL board and BCCI, wanting to be auctioned during the event.

The latest development was seen as peculiar, one-of-its-kind and unexpected issue, where everyone was waiting for suspense of which player would be tagged most to unravel.

Upon enquiring further, it was revealed that these employees have turned up at the auction, coming right from the protests.

“We just learned that Mr. Mallya is shelling out money at the auctions, with a cheerful face and without any excuses – like the one he gives us – so we showed up here,” explained an employee.

The airline management is due to pay its employees’ salary of nearly 13 months and Mr. Mallya, with quite visible concern, asked them to call off protest because he can’t pay them with no funds in the company.

“I just came to know that Mr. Mallya spent Rs 14crore for Yuvraj Singh! Is that true? That’s twice the money he owes me,” said a man with starving-since-centuries expressions.

The employees’ claimed that they understand Mr. Mallya’s circumstances with government rules refraining transfer of funds from one company to another, or something like that, and so we’ve come here where he’ll have no problem spending crores.

“And that too for about a month’s services!” said one expectant pilot-by-profession.

These employees can be auctioned under C-grade category and the experience in cricket is of little significance with the format of the game requiring only good bat-swinging ability, which can be developed with little training, said experts.

“If the board doesn’t allow us to take part in auction then we are ready to protest,” threatened the group, "we are even mulling to collaborate with protest specialist Mr. Arvind Kejriwal."

“We’ve been protesting for so long that it has become our secondary profession,” few murmured.

Asatya Madanna, the new cheap… err… chief of MacroHard

The head office of Education Department of Hyderabad has been ambushed by the education groups of the city to protest the injustice meted out to them.

It all started with the universe famous American hardcore company MacroHard appointing Asatya Madanna as its cheap… err… chief executive office, and eventually his background enquiry revealed that Madanna did his schooling from Hillampuri Municipal School in 1982.

This was enough for success-obsessed Indian parents to decide that their children would study only in HMS and approached their kids’ current school, seeking transfer.

“Even my son will go on to become CEO, or president or something of some big company one day!” said one mother excitedly, while her son was innocently mumbling that he doesn’t want to go to some other school.

As a result of this, almost all the schools in the city hardly have any attending pupil.

“We are ready to give our students all it takes to become a CEO of foreign companies; we’ve prepared all the manuscripts for the same and are planning to cut down play hours and exam schedules. Making them CEOs will be our priority, give us one chance!” pleaded principal of Chappal Bazaar Public School.

Even the management of HMS is facing an understandable issue with this bulk of in-pouring admissions and having no proper infrastructure to accommodate them.

“We will buy more space and educate more kids,” said a teacher of HMS. Apparently, the management has overtaken the adjoining space, which was until yesterday a tabla.

Meanwhile, the alumni of HMS are set to carry out a procession in the honor of Asatya, and have built a huge idol of him, holding the icon of MacroHard.

“We were very good friends in school, I (would) always sit beside him in the school,” said one elated batch-mate, who himself owns a chain of tea stalls around HMS.

“It took him (so many) years to head a company, while I started soon after school and now heads Shiva Chaiwala company!” he shared his successful story.

“Everyonewho studies in HMS will become head of some company,” he almost snatched the mike to add this line.

In other developments, AsatyaMadanna’s intermediate, graduate, post-graduate and management institutes have expressed their discontent over exclusion of names of their institutes in introducing the new cheap… er… chief.

They demand that Asatya should be introduced as: IBS, IMET, SCJrC, HMS, Hillampuri, India-born, US-residential AsatyaMadanna.

All-in-all, Indians are proud of his success (what is so surprising in this any way; we Indians celebrate everything).